Deborah Pope's HAMTAM Blog

Not to Blog

Mon, 04 Jan 2010 09:27:23 GMT

Well, blogging must not be my thing. I'm no Julie of the famed book and movie Julie & Julia . I'm too busy living life - mostly tending to parenting - to blog about it. At least for the moment. I blog in my mind, but the experiences and thoughts don't make it from my head to the computer. Nor do I find the time to read the blogs others are putting out there. Some blogs are just too wordy. Surely I'm not alone in stating that I cannot take the time during my day to read about someone else's day. With this brief commentary - or shall I say this brief "blog" on blogging, I feel a bit like Andy Rooney. Enough said, as I really don't like to blog.

Truth or Dare

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 08:56:13 GMT

My daughter and I shared some special bonding time recently when we took a trip together, just the two of us. For some reason, I had this idea to suggest a round of Truth or Dare each night before nodding off to sleep. She may have giggled shyly about it the first night, but after that she was expecting it, too, upon tucking in and lights out. Perhaps it reminded her that I'm on her side and not too old for fun. If she thinks that such games are just for secret times with friends, then it may lead to troubles. But, I hope if she thinks it's no big deal - not even too big a deal to play with Mom - then maybe she'll see it simply as silly fun and not take things to seriously (as tweens can do).

Straight teeth on the horizon

Tue, 12 May 2009 07:03:31 GMT

My daughter got braces last week. While the first two days didn't go so well, she has handled it well since then. I can already see that having the responsibility of the braces is actually helping her mature.

I thought she would go for the pink, but she chose blue braces for now. Although I thought them silly at first, I have to say that the colored wires are a neat feature/a plus. In fact, her classmates and friends have reacted unexpectedly (to me, anyhow) well. They have been excited to see them on her, and she's heard everything from "cute" to "cool."

The orthodontist called us at home on Sunday to check on her. That was also unexpected - and oh so kind. That kind of thing is rare these days.

So far, so good.

Forced to Give In and That's OK

Mon, 23 Feb 2009 08:48:12 GMT

My dad had a stroke and passed away in January, so I've been busier than usual and haven't had time to write on here. Even though he lived in a different state, his passing has, of course, forever changed the family dynamics here.

Also, due to logistics, I had to compromise my previous choices in some areas of parenting. As example: I was very strict about sleepovers, but because my husband and I had to be out of town for a while we had to put our daughter's care into the hands of a good friend. Perhaps when forced to loosen the grip a little my daughter actually benefited in that she got a unique chance to mature and prove herself. It's not a scenario I had wished for, but I've learned, too, that I can rely on friends and have to be even more flexible.

TV from days gone by ...

Fri, 26 Dec 2008 07:41:28 GMT

It's been fun this holiday season to not only watch some special and timely movies but also to watch some of the old television programs. On Christmas night, we watched a Little House on the Prairie episode about Christmas - from the first season. Oh, and we also watched holiday episodes from The Odd Couple and That Girl. Probably just about every sitcom and drama has a holiday episode. The shows simply make for a nice change of pace from the movies many of us know and also love so much. The whole family can enjoy such programs in a short amount of time. My daughter loves watching the olds shows and that's really a testimony that 'everything old is new again'.

The Rules Book

Wed, 03 Dec 2008 04:20:04 GMT

At school each year, my child (as well as all the other children) is given the Code of Conduct book with the district's rules. We skim through it and discuss the major things to remember - no this, no that... This morning, just after I once again had to remind her not to talk to me in the manner she was using, an idea came to me that I shared with her on the ride to school. I'm going to have her write up the Code of Conduct book for the outside of school times - the book for the home front and beyond (stores, restaurants...). Maybe if she writes the rules down (e.g., no talking back, no this, no that...) they'll mean more. We shall see.

Kids & Computers

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 06:37:32 GMT

I have a good find to tell you about, and actually my husband found it. If you're looking for an email service for your child and you're wanting some safeguards, check out what Kidmail.net has to offer. So far we all like it a whole lot. It's not free, but it's not expensive. It's worth the cost. We all have our Favorite Things (Oprah doesn't corner that market) - and Kidmail.net is one of mine.

Pet Care Book Sheds Light on Child Care

Fri, 07 Nov 2008 03:15:36 GMT

When it comes to nonfiction, I find myself usually reading books on parenting or dog care (another form of parenting, really). For the past two weeks, I've been riding around listening to one of the Dog Whisperer's books on CD. Usually, I read print - I don't listen to books, but I'm finding this to be a nice change of pace and I feel it makes good use of drive time. This particular book is so good that I would recommend it to those even without dogs. In "Be The Pact Leader" author Cesar Millan speaks to all of us (we humans) about the fact that we've lost touch with our intuition and how imbalanced we've become. Most of what we dog parents might refer to as "hang-ups" in our dogs is really just their reaction to what they perceive as imbalance in their human family environment. No doubt these lessons really roll over into our roles as parents to our human children.

Allowance

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 04:04:44 GMT

I can see the pros and cons to several theories when it comes to allowance for children. So many issues come up. Should our kids be paid for chores? Should they only be paid for extra jobs (not the daily and weekly ones like bed-making and trash collection)? How much should we pay them per week or month? Getting on board/staying with a plan is not easy when you're trying to take all this and more into consideration. My husband has an idea that I think just may work (it solves some of our concerns): Certain chores are expected of our daughter - regardless of any allowance. We plan to pay her a set amount (not sure of that yet) each week, but as the week progresses deductions can be made based on behavioral expectations. Then, when the week is up we pay her the full or adjusted amount. This is one idea we at least want to consider and discuss more and possibly soon put into play.

A Visit from Grandpa

Thu, 09 Oct 2008 05:44:23 GMT

My dad was here recently - grandpa. Due to the many states between us, granddaughter and grandfather don't really know one another all that well - they haven't much time together. He was pretty consumed with the news while here, especially due to the stock market recent issues. I noticed it. I hoped that he would want to play a round of Uno or the like with us. But, I accepted the situation as it was (and was still overjoyed to have him here) and the lack of play together didn't bother me all that much. My daughter needs to learn that each person is different, and that while some older folks stay very active, there are others - perhaps like my dad - who don't enjoy those types of activities (e.g., games) much anymore. I explained that to her - that maybe he lacks the patience and focus for such play time, and that he wasn't feeling that great, either. She was content to sit next to him - his eyes fixed on the news - and read a book. I was content to see them sitting together eating ice cream. Despite the lack of a round of Uno, there were plenty of shared smiles. Memories were made.